gemz16

Our house was a mess. From the mountain of shoes in the porch and the dirty dishes beside the sink, to the jumbled thoughts in our heads and the tears we cried, together and alone. Our house was full. And yet we continued to cram more in, more people, more clothes, more memories, new experiences, new struggles, new feelings. It was bursting and brimming. Our house was noisy. Singing along to disney and musicals, laughter that wouldn't stop and crying that echoed through the walls. Our sounds permeated through our eardrums, and the ceilings. Our house was always breaking. The fire alarm key and the garden sofas, the handles that came off an

I've cried. I've laughed. I've taken down our pictures. I've slept in your t-shirt. I've had a birthday without you. I've not gone to the Victorian Festival of Christmas. I've cried in a club. I've throw up in many places. I've written more poems than I have in the last 12 months. I've listened to sad music on repeat. I've shaved the side of my head. I've watched it grow back slowly. I've dyed my hair. I've painted my nails. I've brought a top hat and a peace sign. I've started christmas shopping. I've missed you and missed and missed you. I've cried myself to sleep. I've talked to complete strangers. I've read a break-up book. I've

Lying in the half light, absent-mindedly rubbing a self-inflicted, plum coloured bruise, that's no bigger than a pound coin; thinking about my mother's knifes and running away without telling anyone anything accept, 'I'm still alive'. Because at the moment life is a fragile concept; it's a baby bird in the road, it's a toaster sitting beside a bath, it's a razor hovering above a wrist. Life is just breathes and beats, banging together, until one then the other, stops.

I'm sitting in the dark with you filling my mind its only been a day yet i wish you were here sitting in the dark by my side. we've had all weekend together but that's only made me want you more I don't know if its good or if its only gunna hurt in the end cause we haven't got, very long now and that scares me. I'm waiting, I'm waiting for something to go wrong what, I'm not sure what, I just don't know but I'm waiting here in the dark because I've never had it last, this long, before.

she dances alone all on her own to a tune nobody hears you can see it in her eyes she's crying on the inside as her feet slip on the floor beautiful, graceful but no one will ever know for she's not really here he's steady as a rock and cold as a stone cause she's already left, she's already gone neither sees very clear cause it's plain they're both here forever dancing in circles each around the other if only they knew then they'd never be alone, never be afraid for they're dancing together, always

Its all becoming a bit real in less than a year we won't be here we're leaving all we know leaving each other and the world we call home Running free in the undiscovered growing up and growing old finding all the answers we don't have but will we stay the same but will we stay together I just don't know I just don't know, if we'll be okay if we'll keep up.. this.. love Disappearing into the folds of life into the world of our unknown far apart and far away will you remember me will I stay in your mind or just be a happy memory I don't like these thoughts they bring tears and tear at my heart cause you won't be a call a